My awesome readers,
A few nights ago I saw a film called ‘New York, I Love You!’ and while it was not the best film I ever saw, it was one of those films that makes you look inwards, ponder about life, and contemplate missed opportunities… I guess it is also the upcoming new year and lost resolutions from the year that is coming to an end that put me in this mood.
I wanted to post once a month this year, and while it is better than the lonely post of 2018, I only managed 7 posts (including this one). I wanted to get a few followers here that were not family members and friends, strangers who wanted to join my journey for no reason other than they found it interesting or informative and fun. I was hoping that the family and friends that do follow me will actually read what I have to wright and not just like and share for the sake of it, and although I do appreciate them doing even that I was hoping to lure them into parts of my world they didn’t get to see until now. I wanted to feel like I was making a difference, even if just for a few people out there.
A couple of days later I was watching ‘Eat, Prey, Love’ and my heart felt as if it was breaking, just like every time I watch this film. ‘Why did my heart feel as if it was breaking?’ you ask, because this film reminds me how much I have lost the ability to believe in something bigger than myself, because I stopped believing I will find love again, because so many years alone turned me into a skeptic and because while I don’t care what strangers think of me, I do care what some people think of me, people who don’t deserve such power over my self esteem.
Everybody has these kind of days… you watch a film or hear a song that puts you in a state of mind of self doubt, hurt, low self esteem and all the blues that comes with it. Those days are not fun but they make you, or at least me appreciate all the days I do remember that those are sometimes the feeling that come hand in hand with living a life without regrets.
Yes, I am alone for a while now, but this is because I refuse to be in the wrong relationship or settle for anything less than I deserve. Same goes for those people who, at times have power over my self esteem, usually they find the way out of my life quite quickly after making me feel like shit about myself and the less of them are in my life the better I feel about being exactly who I am! I don’t have a million followers but I also don’t spend my life dedicated to creating content, my life is about creating moments and memories and while I do hope I get to share them with more of you, those of you who follow are close to my heart and are much appreciated, each and every one. And yes, maybe my family and friends don’t always read what I write but they care enough to follow and share which means they believe in me and not everybody have such an amazing support system. And while I will never die with a million dollars in the bank or a million followers on social media, when I die I will have a million memories, hundreds of trips and hopefully, many many years from now, my tombstone will say “She lived a life without regrets, and she really lived!”
So for my last post of 2019 and the new year, I re-resolute to try and post at least once a month and share not just my travels, but also more of myself with you. I want to thank you for being a part of my journey and I wish you all a wonderful holiday season.
Go wander, your Traveling Unicorn x